I’m Back

This summer has been trying. I’ve found myself withdrawn, depressed, sexually frustrated, and binging Marvel movies and Game of Thrones. Honestly, I think I’ve been watching the news too often. People are so full of hate. Sometimes I forget that the human capacity to love is equaled by our capacity to hate… But to hate that much, I truly don’t understand. It seems to be the word that is motivating our country, that nasty H-word. The H-bomb. Hate. But perhaps in the darkest of times there is love to be uncovered and passed on, spreading through and curing the disease that is hate. At least, that is what I am hoping for.

Why do some people hate what is different? I think it’s fear, misunderstanding, and believing things that aren’t necessarily true. I think that’s what racism is; fear. Racists are just afraid of stereotypes and they misunderstand movements like Black Lives Matter.

I think fear and hate are dangerous ideas. In this trying time, we need to keep open minds and hearts to the world. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch Captain America.

~Scarlett

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In Honor of Mother’s Day

I am a liberal woman. I do not believe in gender roles or any of that bullshit. But today is Mother’s Day, which throws gender roles into the light. Ah, yes, the old-fashioned ideas pop up in everyone’s mind:

The young girl in her polka dot dress with ribbons in her long hair dancing about with her dolls, her “children,” who she pretends to feed and care for…

And really, there is nothing wrong with this image, if one remembers that this should never be society’s way of thinking.
Alright, alright, you’re probably thinking, “who is this nutter with no respect for mothers?”

I respect mothers. I do. I have a mother, (obviously,) and I respect her. But really. I never want to be a mother. And that does not make me any less of a woman. Or any less desirable, godly, attractive, it does not make me less of anything. In fact, it just makes me a woman who does not want to push a nine pound baby out of her vagina. Seriously, people.

Anyway, this Mother’s Day, remind your children (and yourselves) that they can be anything they want to be. Mothers, fathers, writers, dancers, accountants, anything at all, male or female. Happy Mother’s Day, all.

~ Scarlett

Sexuality

I’m bisexual. This, for clarification, means that I am attracted to both men and women. I personally have begun to believe that people are not as straight as they want you to think. I mean, who has never desired anyone of the same sex? I can’t picture what that would feel like!

Anyway, all my life I’ve been taught to accept the LGBTQ+ community, but not to become part of it. I’ve been this way since I can remember. Everything made me uncomfortable: changing in front of girls, the thought of naked girls, etc. I realized that I was attracted to girls, my mother noticed this and was quick to inform me that girls notice each other, and it’s perfectly normal. I knew the way I felt was not “normal”. The pastor at our church discouraged homosexuality, and even though I didn’t know exactly what he was talking about, I quickly figured it out.

Ugh. Coming out was terrifying. It wasn’t as bad as some, but my dad shouted “What the hell is going on?” And didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. I still haven’t told so much of my family, because it’s scary. It’s terrifying. I know that my uncle would be upset. My grandfather would interrogate me.

But I feel my strength growing. I realize that I can be who I want. I will stand up and shout out for the world to hear, “I am bisexual! And I am proud!”

I beg all of you to please stop silencing the voices that are desperate to be heard. You hurt people like me. You hurt me. I just want people to accept us all. We will never cease to exist. Accept us now. Because we are here and you can’t change that. Not with your phony books and amulets and charms and prayers, not with your pointed fingers and jeers. Not with your bullets, your knives, your devices of torture. Not with your words. We will not die quietly. We will rise.

~Scarlett

Facing Reality

My mom is a dreamer. She’s always wanted to go to Paris and be a successful writer/painter. I try to support her, yet I always wonder what the point of encouraging  her illusion further is.

And yet, I remind myself, there could be a small chance that my mother, aged at only a mere 53 years, might achieve this far-fetched dream. Though she will have no retirement money, and has never published a work of art in her life, she might pull it off. Having grown up with nothing and having money only in the years of adulthood before she had children, these fantasies would be a dream come true.

And so now, I vow silently to take my mother (and my father) to Europe when I am older and hopefully successful in some way or another. I want my mother to never worry about money again, to eat at every cute little sidewalk cafe in France and Italy. Until then, I will acknowledge the sacrifices my mother has made to satisfy my needs and wants. I will do the best I can to respect her dreams and one day, I will make them reality.

~Scarlett

My Depression

Yeah, I’m depressed. I’ve been that way for most of my life, honestly. I’ve always been the sad kid, who cries for little or no reason and has angry outbursts. My life has been measured by my emotions, and everything I do is based on my feelings.

I was homeschooled, my early years lacked interaction with other kids. I had no way to measure my feelings compared to other kids my age, I did not know what “normal” was. I realize now that my feelings were not and are not normal. I am depressed, and I now have weekly therapy. It’ll get better, I do realize this. Saying this does not ease my suicidal thoughts, though.

Luckily, almost everyone I know has gone through something similar, like my mom, who has been severely depressed several times in her life. Most of my friends also have depression or depression related mental illnesses.

Anyway, hopefully if any of you are depressed, you have a way to get help. Always remember that you are never alone.

~Scarlett

My Lovable Family

My family is big. I have my parents, my sister, and that’s not much, but both of my parents have four siblings, with divorced and remarried parents, (even more siblings), so I literally have a huge family. My cousins are numerous. At every wedding or funeral, I meet at least 5 or 10 new distant relations.

My family is not uniform, more than most families, maybe: on my dad’s side, three atheist brothers, one, a pothead in California, the other, a married guy with a beautiful wife, both covered in tattoos and piercings, the last, a believer of conspiracies, and one sister, the Christian who suffers from severe anxiety. My mom: one dead brother, her other brother is now a sister, and two twin sisters with mental illnesses. My cousins are very unique as well. But this is family. Family is not religion or sexual orientation, because if you love someone, it doesn’t matter. Difference is beautiful.

~Scarlett

*Sorry if this rambles, was a little tired.*

Protest

I, like many of you, marched with the women on Washington D. C. It was an eye opening experience, let me tell you. It made me realize: I am not alone. We are large in numbers. Every woman and man who believes in women’s rights walked with us, if not in person, in spirit. We made history. WE MADE HISTORY! People listened! The President surely heard.

A beautiful transgender woman was walking next to me. We spoke, exchanged a word or two, but I was so thrilled to see every woman represented there. Men were there. My father marched. Men spoke, advocates for women’s rights. That was my light of hope I wish I could share with every broken, beaten woman around the world.

I know it was a while ago, but today I saw a march is going on in protest of the Muslim ban. Dammit, Trump! Didja have to go and ban a whole religion from this country? Pretty soon all of us atheists will be banned too. That man is a swirling storm of bullshit and fear mongering and lies. I have no clue why anyone voted for him, but if you did, please stay away from this blog page, cause I don’t need your negativity.

~Scarlett

*Please excuse me. I was very fired up when I wrote this.*

Where Does Religion Stand?

In this day and age in America, we are losing our separation of church and state. It’s just a fact. I’m an atheist, though I was raised not to be and let me tell you, my parents are not happy.

But here’s the thing that really pisses me off. With Donald Trump and all his crazy fanatic Christian leaders in Office, I will be subjected to the ways of the Bible. I love Christians. Many of my friends and most of my family are Christians. There are good morals in the Bible. It’s true. But we MUST have a separation of church and state. We must. If a Christian does not think homosexuality should exist, perfect, because they don’t have to marry someone of the same sex. If a Christian doesn’t believe in abortion, fabulous, no one said they had to get one. But why force all of us innocent atheists to abide by the laws of some deity we don’t believe to exist? Is it not, than, right for us to ask for, no DEMAND, a separation of church and state?

Also, when this country was founded, it was founded by Christians, I get it. But we need to realize: that was, like 250 years ago! Now we have Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, I mean come on, Republicans! This is the 21st century! Yes, I understand it’s scary to see this country change, but change is for the better. Our culture is diverse in race and religion. You cannot ask these hard-working Americans to leave their country! They have just as much a right to it as you Christians. Listen. America is making progress, whether or not you agree. We become more of a 21st century country every time anyone says they are atheist, gay, or of a different race. Even feminist! We move this country forward with unity and acceptance and justice for all, not prejudice and laws that only less than half the population are content with.

~Scarlett

About Me

I’ll start this off by proudly declaring: I am a Liberal. I love Hillary and Barack. However, I am seemingly alone in my town where I go to school. Most people are Conservative, Right-Wing, Trump-Loving hunters and farmers. I have nothing against any of these people. I just have a hard time being the odd one out and saying things like, “Yo, did you hear about the March? Pretty cool, am I right?” To which everyone answers, “What’s the point? Hillary lost.” It’s pretty discouraging. As you can imagine, word travels fast in our town, and since my dad has a business on main-street, I am never able to say much. And the people who do know me well enough are polite in their Trump-loving frenzy.

We learn acceptance over time. In highschool, we all want to be the “right” one. As we mature, we will all realize that there are many different ways to live our lives. The folks at my school, mostly the boys, dare I say, are judgemental and do bully classmates; I’ve seen people get shoved and called nasty things. We have a small African American population, surrounded by racist white boys and girls and even racist teachers. We do have a large LGBTQ community, and they are the most targeted. I hear truly despicable things said about them and to them. Luckily we do have a GSA, or Gay Straight Alliance, which I proudly joined to support the LGBTQ communities in our school and around the world. There are not a lot of kids in it, about 20 of us, about half Allies, most Juniors and Seniors. I want everyone on the planet to have a chance and a voice and equal opportunity.

~Scarlett